Goal Tip: When thinking about your future, when pondering what you really want, let go of the past. Let go of the reaction and the what might have been. Pause. Breathe. Blank canvas. Go. Close your eyes to visualize what you truly want for your most rad life. Go to there.
My little sister turned 16 this year and today she got her driver’s license. Oddly enough, I thought I would feel way older, but alas, I do not. Today I feel alive, radical and in love.
With that being said, on the evening of her 16th birthday last month, my family went around the table and shared our birthday wishes for her. Yes, some of us cried because we love her so much and really, where does the time go?
Anyways, I was last to go and share my wish for her 16th year. And as I listened to all the beautiful wishes for her, mine just blurted out and it went a little something like this:
“I wish for you, I actually dare you to embrace the weird. Embrace the awkward, uncertain, crazy, nerdy, odd, did-that-just-happen moments. And be so beautifully and weirdly you. It is way more fun, I promise.”
In that moment, I really wanted her and actually all of us at the table to embrace and truly love ourselves more. Be gentle with who we are, be empathetic and get out of our all too normal of a boring comfort zone. Know that we are human beings out there giving it our best shot and well, some times, it is really effing weird out there. Am I right?
So as the sun starts to slowly set on my 20′s and I embark on a new decade in 2014, I actually ponder this advice and am really feeling it these days. A minor detour to 2004, my dear friend I met studying abroad in Australia had a gnarly pet peeve that would absolutely grind his gears. He hated with the utmost audacity when people spelled the word ‘weird’ with an ‘i’ before ‘e’ (like this: wierd). Oh man, when AOL instant message was all the rage, he would use all caps (which was yelling) and call me out and demand I spell it correctly. And in correcting me, he shared that he used this little trick. He said, “the word weird is spelled with ‘ei’, NOT ‘ie’. Think of this to remember ei, like emotional intelligence“. Boom, that stuck and I have been spelling weird right since ’04, people.
And actually, the word weird had taken on a new definition since that conversation via computer chatting. Because yes, I do think it takes a level of emotional intelligence to own your own quirks, know your unique and radical joy, rock your crazy morning routines and sing out-loud in public. It takes effort, love and failure, yes failure, to start to feel out who we are and who we are not. And goodness, it takes time, time, time. It took me just about 30 years to get there and this journey will continue. But man, being weird and knowing it really rules! I have found: you get to be yourself, not worry about looking good or fitting in to someone else’s ideals or goals for you and with the biggest heart, you grant yourself permission to put yourself out there and truly share your passions. I am telling you, you have got to try it.
Wait a minute. No joke, I just typed in ‘define weird’ in the google search bar. I was curious as to what the actual definition was while writing this post. Have you ever looked up the word? This is what you read from Merriam-Webster:
Mind blown. Did you know it was a noun that meant fate or destiny (I scratched out the ill fortune part)? I had no idea and yet, I totally get it. Because then, if you look at the second available definition as an adjective, you will see extraordinary character, fantastic and magic. So being weird is truly about being confident, rocking emotional intelligence and being radical.
So again, I daresay I embrace this emotional intelligence and own the magic that comes with being weird (adjective meaning oddly fantastic) and I am clear that it is my weird (noun, meaning destiny) to rock goals and share radical insights.
Today, I dare you to be weird and reach for your weird. Rock your journey and be gentle.
And by all means, spell it correctly with your amazing emotional intelligence.
Wondering what to get that special someone, that dear friend or amazing family member for the holiday season? Something unique, a bit different, maybe a bit out there? I know just the thing!
This holiday, be a goal gifter and give the radical gift of GOALS.
I am looking at my holiday shopping list here, who would this be great for? Let’s see. Do you:
1) love someone that has more self-help books on the shelf than the self-help section at Barnes & Noble?
2) have a friend with ideas on ideas on ideas and ready to get into radical action?
3) know someone that would love a goal setting session to set 2014 oh so right?
4) have a sibling that enjoys 80′s music and would love new tools to live a life they love?
5) know a co-worker ready to take it to the next level with their health, personal or career goals?
6) have a special someone that needs that goals boost?
If you said: “Yes, yes and yes! I do believe I have these people on my list and I know they would love to rock goals with you, Jacki Carr!”
Then I must ask you, are you giving the gift of goals this year, or what? #goalgifter
EXCLUSIVE: For the month of December and my favorite holiday season, with each session(s) or package(s) purchased, your goal-gifted recipient(s) will have access into a closed January Jumpstart Facebook Group run by yours truly. Starting January 1 through January 31, 2014, together we will share goals, rock the accountability, drop knowledgable weekly tips on goal creation, share rad music to pump you up for the new year and create a community of goalers to rock 2014!
Let’s make Facebook-ing feel more creative, inspiring and fun! BOOM.
NOTE TO YOU: Yes, you can most definitely give yourself the gift of goals. Add YOU to that shopping list.
I cannot wait to goal with you and your loved ones in 2014!
Today, take a moment while surrounded by family and friends and pause. Smell the delicious smells, feel your heart gushing with love, see the beauty of connection that is most undoubtedly all around you, reach out and touch another with a hug or a sloppy kiss, and hear the sounds of gratitude from deep belly laughter.
It is in these moments that holidays always bring that I want to dance with the joy, I want to pause time, I want to hug more and I want to just share in the most vulnerable way that I love you, and you, and you! Because really, I do.
Wherever you are, whomever you are with, be all there. Take it all in. Shout it out loud.
From my big hearts to yours, I am grateful. Happy Thanksgiving! Happy Celebration!
An email and attachment landed in my inbox a couple of weeks ago from a woman I have yet to meet, the lovely Jane Rubin. It spoke of a vision, goal celebration and family love. As you can guess, those are pretty much a few of my favorite things! I asked Jane to share her story with the World, with you! Read on friends and be inspired to rock your vision, fully commit and set some radical goals!
In the year 2020 I will be 28 years old. I will be working in Chicago as a doctor, because my Dad was a doctor in Chicago too. I would not be married, not yet. I want to still live with my parents in La Grange. I would have a Ford car, I will never litter to make the world a better place to be. -Lucy Rubin, age 8, in response to the prompt “What Will I Be In 2020?”
Fast forward thirteen years to today, just over 6 years left to complete her goals. Well on her way, my sister, Lucy has been accepted into medical school. She has a Ford car. She does not litter. She makes the World a better place to be.
I asked Lucy to share her tips and tricks to making it happen. Here is how she got there:
1) Support: Our Mom sent her a stuffed cat, affectionately nicknamed “M-KITTY” to help her
study for the M-CAT. Our dad choked up realizing at least one of his daughters followed in his
footsteps. We sent care packages, loving text messages, and homemade quinoa bars.
2) Sweat: This girl loves a good run paired with Nike plus. Getting out for a run helped clear her head and refocus on her goal. Last March she crossed her first half-marathon finish line and can’t wait to run her next one this January. She’s also known to frequent spin and Dailey Method barre classes.
3) Simple: She knew what she wanted. When you know what you want, dedication to a goal does not feel like a sacrifice. She spent her weekends studying instead of day-drinking. We joked that her boyfriend was Edgar King, the name of the library at her school. She took MCAT practice test after practice test after practice test. And yes, she exceeded even her own expectations when she showed up to take the actual test. She wrote essays, she interviewed, she was accepted.
She was accepted!
Into medical school. The hard work over the past three and a half years was all there, wrapped up in that acceptance. She is going to be a Doctor.
Luce, thanks for constantly checking in with me and holding me accountable for my goals. I’m wildly proud of you, your hard work, and your accomplishments. I can’t wait to see what you have in store for the future; you will be a wonderful, compassionate doctor. I love you!
NOTE: Mom and Dad, There are no promises she won’t still be living with you at age 28.
Jane Rubin is a Chicagoan who loves lakefront runs, early mornings, and “The 59th Street Bridge Song” by Simon and Garfunkel. She is constantly inspired by her three sisters, yogi tea quotes, and the white space between the lines. You can find her hearing heartbeats and writing on her Rara Avis blog, here.