Hug Counting and Growth

I recently read this stat and then googled it again to be sure and cannot stop thinking about it:

‘Family therapist Virginia Satir once said, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” While that may sound like a lot of hugs, it seems that many hugs are better than not enough.’

You can read the Forbes article on it right here.

12 hugs a day for growth?

12?

12!?

Why does this catch me so off guard? I almost feel angry. Which is hilarious as I read an article about hugs. I have learned before that something like a 3 minute hug can actually co-regulate your nervous system and slow down your heart rate and honestly, I tested it out and the shit works (cough, when hugging the right person and with consent).

In a past life, and I don’t mean like another lifetime, I mean like 17 years-ish ago, I was a total side-hugger. I didn’t really love hugs and I avoided them or did them half way with like the one arm wrap-around and it was in a word, awkward. I was insecure and had this really weird facade up that I did not let people in and a hug, or non-hug, was a perfect way to exemplify that. I changed my ways after meeting a woman named Sarita Moore who actually taught me how to hug just by truly being herself and that practice of embrace - I actually led hugging as part of a communication workshop back in the day. Talk about a 180.

And now, in a World where I am bombarded these days to remain 6 feet away from everyone, this news pulls at my heart. This statistic causes the said anger and then a sadness that follows.

Are we growing then?

It feels so trivial to write thoughts on a hug, something so simple and yet so profound in human connection as it can soothe the brain and support growth. I like when the small details feel like the big details.

I have started counting hugs….