An Alternate Universe

For most of my life, I believe I can truthfully say that I did a lot; edging on too much most of the time. I liked more things on my plate than less, I believe I was trained to enjoy the juggle and the hustle and perhaps even getting a little scrappy.

There was an ego attachment when someone would ask the age old question, “how do you do it all?”.

As if a nod of validation, doing more than one thinks is humanly possible was my own badge of honor. And it served me well at the time, I paid bills on time (most of the time) and I was a hard worker at any and all of my jobs - except for one in Hollywood where I was trying to make extra money working on a weekend as a production assistant and the way this team talked to me from the inside of some RV trailer in the middle of nowhere was next level degrading and inappropriate, they sent me on a coffee errand and I left in my car and never came back, never returned a call or text. It was a ‘no one puts Baby in a corner moment’ because no one has the clout, job title or amount of money to ever speak to me the way they did.

I digress. 

These days, I feel different about what I want people to say to me, what I want to be known for or how my beloved and my children see me. Instead of ‘wow, look how much she got ticked off her to do list today” I actually want the opposite. I want ‘wow, look how little she did.” or “Look how present and intentional she is.”.

I know what you are thinking, why do I even need any form of validation from others?

Because get real, we all do.

WE. ALL. DO.

Humans are wired for human connection and I believe internal and external validation are both important. Most of us operate fully on external validation - especially in our careers. And most of us have never truly been taught how to self-validate - and this goes beyond nice things you say in a mirror or a self high five.

My last note on if you choose to see that external validation does matter is this: choose wisely those that you would like validation from. Less people on the internet, more people you love and care for deeply. Boundaries work is beautiful.

I glued this quote on my vision last nite at an event I was leading:

“Why settle for more?”

I can look back at most of my vision boards of the past and have surely glued “go for it”, “never settle” or “ask for more and see what happens….”. Which sidebar: please delete this advice if you are asking for a raise from your employer tomorrow, you are probably underpaid anyways so ASK!

But for my life at this point, I want less.

Less screen time.
Less fear-mongering headlines.

Less on my to do list.

Less on my to be list.

Less stuff.

Less comparison.

Less hair washing.

Less iPhone upgrades.

Less plastic.

Less sedentary.

Less indoors.

Less surface level connection.

Less rush.

Less taking it all for granted.

And the words I glued right below that why settle for more quote were two words: ALTERNATE UNIVERSE. 

I’m going there.